HH118👨👦 It's harder to be alone alone
Hello dear reader!
Great to have you here, thank you for your attention, and I hope you're doing well!
This week, I got a small taste of what it's like to raise a child alone. On Saturday evening, I traveled to Budapest with my 11-year-old while my wife was still in Stockholm, working.
I was looking forward to having the opportunity to connect more deeply with my child, but I forgot to factor in that all the parental care/attention/tasks would fall on me.
At first, I managed it quite well since my child is older and in many ways very independent. However, in just a few days, I completely wore myself out, realizing that amidst all the responsibilities, I had zero time for myself.
Many parents, especially mothers, sacrifice everything for the sake of their children without even realizing that they're slowly depleting themselves over the years. They become increasingly irritable with their little darlings, neglect their relationships, and due to chronic untreated stress, their performance and level of kindness inevitably decline (see burn out).
Meanwhile, they still have to bring home the money, excel at work, and as a result, many end up in a state where they haven't taken care of themselves for who knows how long.
Being a good parent doesn't mean dedicating zero time to yourself and nervously pestering your children to make them happy!
Furthermore, our offspring won't learn that self-care is essential, that everyone has the right and need for rest, slowing down, daydreaming, deep contemplation, and self-reflection.
Believe me, we are not selfish if we devote, let's say, one hour a day to ourselves because it pays off when we spend shorter, but much higher-quality time with our children and partners. And we can maintain this throughout the 18 years and beyond.
How do you manage to find time for yourself?
Podcast
The above topic sheds light on the fact that it's not just up to us how much attention we can give to ourselves. I had a conversation about this with my psychologist friend, Izabella Szűcs, on the "Idegállapot" podcast channel.
I added the episode to the extensive playlist that collects my previous guest appearances:
I also released my own episode on my English-language channel, where I talk about assertive rights. Woohoo!
Next week, the final episode of the first season titled "How to Cope with Panic Attacks: A Guide for You and Your Loved Ones" will be released, followed by a summer break until mid-September.
However, the halottnak a coach will keep rolling during the summer. Next Wednesday, you can listen to a great conversation with a former colleague who took an extended leave as a senior executive to rethink his life. According to him, he worked for 25 years within the past 20, so his fatigue is understandable.
On July 19, I'll come back with an eye-opening episode called "How Summer Vacations Can Trick You - Out of Office," and there will be episodes every other Wednesday during my vacation.
Picnic in Városliget (City Park)
The HAC podcast has been running for five years, and we've already had at least as many community gatherings.
This year, we'll meet for a little picnic behind Zöld Küllő at the sunbathing area on July 20. Bring your own blanket, beer/wine/refreshments/crackers/whatever you like. Many people are coming with their children (including us), but we welcome other furry friends as well.
We'll start with some games at exactly 6:00 PM, followed by informal conversations throughout the day.
Come, come!
Book/TV
Will you be able to read more during your summer break? I warmly recommend Deborah Feldman's book "Exodus," which is the prequel story to the popular "Unorthodox" series on Netflix.
It was funny to read it on the Stockholm-Budapest flight as the author travels to Hungary and Sweden, retracing the stations of her grandmother's journey to America.
I'll be on vacation from July 6 to August 14. I'll rarely read emails and even less frequently respond.
Wishing you a fantastic summer, and STAY TUNED on your favorite podcast player and on Instagram, where I might share a few pictures.
Best regards,
András
PS: I've posted the dates for the "From Mindfuck to Mindfulness" group on my website. If you sign up by July 5, you'll get a €50 discount on the participation fee. Just letting you know...